God's Mercies after Suicide~Saint Patrick's Day Mid-Morning

photo by Jean Ann Williams

Saint Patrick’s Day Mid-Morning

“They will console you, when you see their ways and their deeds, and you shall know that I have not done without cause all that I have done in it, declares the Lord GOD.”

—Ezekiel 14:23

Jason and his dad hung the Irish flag in honor of a brother and son.

     

Soon after, family came to comfort. My pain was too great to bear alone, so I unburdened the horror of what happened. I grew tired quickly, though, and my mind dulled because I was unable to accept the reality of Joshua’s death.

     

I would never have imagined how God could bring joy into the day. Its noise flowed in the squeals and laughter of our seven grandchildren. I found myself smiling at them, but then I felt sad once again. Joshua would not see them grow up, nor ever meet the new baby.

     

Would the older children forget Uncle Joshy?

     

My thoughts were interrupted when someone told me I had visitors at the front door.

     

My gentle friend Mona and her husband stood on our porch. They held love in their hands: sheet music that they wanted to perform for Joshua’s memorial. I chose “Danny Boy” and allowed them to decide on the hymns. We held hands. Whispered prayers fell from their lips, flowing from their hearts to mine. That dried my tears for the moment. I drew strength from their confidence in God, earth angels in action.

Thank You, Holy Father, for blessing us with children and with folks who do Your angel work. In Jesus’s name. Amen

A Mother’s Memories

Joshua held up a ratty kitten. “Look, Mama, I found him.”

     

My husband grinned. “Joshua heard the kitten in an alley. We dug it out of the trash.”

     

I shook my head. “But, honey, you know I’m allergic to cats. Where will we keep it?” Before my husband could answer, I pointed at the kitten. “That thing is so filthy. See? It’s crawling with fleas.”

     

Joshua cuddled the kitten tighter. “I’ll give him a bath, Mama,” and off our little guy ran.

With another grin—more sheepish this time—my husband nodded. “I’ll help.”

I stood alone in our living room. I’ve been outnumbered. Going about my kitchen chores, my heart softened at how Joshua’s eyes danced from finding the cat. I shrugged and said to no one in the room, “You guys are responsible for its care.”

The sounds of the kitten carried into the kitchen. It splashed and yeowed in distress. Minutes later, Joshua brought to me the wet scrawny cat wrapped in a towel. “See, Mama, he’s all clean.”

I peered at Joshua’s pet. “We need to feed him some milk.”

My son’s lips curved into a smile. “Yep, he’s hungry.”

Lord, even though I was not happy about the kitten, You blessed Joshua with a new friend. I enjoyed seeing my son happy. In Jesus’s name, I’m grateful for this memory. Amen.

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